aliens among us

Subtitle Part 4.1: What’s my motive?

I don’t want to write this one. So I’m going to forgo writing my usual, well organized, humorous and sometimes touching masterpiece of logic, and just ramble. Hmm? What do you mean that’s what I usually do! Get thee behind me Satan!…oh wait, that’s not my line. Oh well. I am going to have to divide Part 4 up into well, parts. Otherwise it’s going to be way too long. You see, God spanked me this weekend. He spanked me hard, thoroughly, with mercy but without leaving me any doubt whatsoever that I was getting an old fashion whoopin. For my own good. I really hate when He does that. But He did it. I didn’t understand what was going on at first, so I kept going back for more. And He just kept on spanking my pride like nobody’s business. I’ll explain after the (look, I’m getting tired of trying to make the “more after the break thing seem clever. A format change may be coming. Fair warning) break. (grin)

I feel like a very young child in that terrible two’s or three’s stage who is just starting to get a glimpse that No actually DOES mean No. I’m not liking it. I’m not liking it a lot. But like a child that young, while I don’t fully comprehend the logic behind the No, I do understand that the God Of My Reality (IMHO, that IS how young children perceive their parents) isn’t saying No just to deprive me of what I’m sure I need! He’s doing it because just possibly, despite my absolute certainty that I should get my way, He loves me and is not torturing me for fun and profit.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still upset about it! but, OK, I’m really tired of getting whooped. I’ll try to stop going there all full of myself whether I think so or not, and start trying to pay attention. No means No. Fine! Don’t get me wrong. I haven’t suddenly seen the light. Now that I’m starting to realize that No means No, I get to move on to the endless asking of the question “why?” (grin)

I’m from the “streets”. I’ve been there, done that, got a closet full of T-shirts. I know how to survive in places that would scare the bejesus out of most of you sheep. That’s been part of my motive for writing this stuff. To “school” y’all. All you white-flight, middle-class, mega-churched, CCM singing, “Hey, we even let Christian RAP groups perform for our youth now! And they’re BLACK!”, rich, white or wannabe people wouldn’t know how to handroll a cigarette from scavenged butts if your life depended on it. You wouldn’t survive a week in places I’ve spent years living in. Or so I thought. Now I’m thinking maybe I was wrong. Well, not completely. Handrolling used tobacco takes talent and practice. Not to mention getting past the “ick” factor of just where all those butts have been.(grin) About me. I don’t think I’ll be “schoolin” y’all after all. Here’s why:

I’m an idiot. Not only that, but I’m an arrogant idiot. For some odd reason, I was stupid enough to test my assumptions this weekend. Yeah, some random, odd, out of the blue, “sudden” moment of brilliance. Have I ever mentioned that your God has a wicked sense of humor? I don’t mean wicked as in any way sinful. I mean wicked as in He “schooled” me. But good. And He did it simply by letting my pride get the best of me. That’s just not fair. I know I’m arrogant. But I’m usually pretty good at not letting people rub my face in it. At the least, if I can’t best them at a round of “Uh uh! Yer more arrogant than I am!”, I try to avoid them. But God, well, you can avoid God, right? It’s possible, right? Hello? Hello? Why is there suddenly a huge echo in here with nothing but the sound of a subtle chuckle in the back of my mind?

As I said, and as I’m sure God knows, I’m still one thick dude(yes I can too call myself that! One of you aliens gave it to me! I get to keep it until he takes it back! grin) who thinks he’s extremely clever. A mental giant. I can almost hear this one now, after the fact:
God: “Hey Jimmy, here’s a thought. Why don’t you go visit all these disenfranchised battlefields you go on and on about. You can see “REAL Christians”, as you like to put it, in action. And you’ll be able to claim that you still have the street smarts to walk unchallenged among all those Powers and Principalities and the people they oppress. Start Saturday with an easy one, “your church“, as you like to say. Then, go by the Refuge OKC and see if anything is happening there yet. Don’t forget to check out the City Rescue Mission. The non-program entrance side. On Sunday, be sure to stop by Kamps for the Mars Hill Sunday evening service. But just to say Hi. Go get that “humble” feeling you’re so proud of. Finish it all off by attending Cross and Crown’s Sunday evening Easter service. Be sure to make use of your “profound” wisdom to drive-by C&C before Kamps, just so you know where to park and what entrance to go in. You go Jimmy! You should find it interesting.”

You know that all knowing thing God does? It’s just not fair. I got spanked and spanked and spanked and, well, you get the picture.

In “Transparency Revisited: Part 4.2, Subtitle: I got spanked at My Church! Oh come on! Give me a break!” I’ll explain why you should never, ever say to God “Oh come on! Give me a break!” You can probably guess where this is going after that. How my pride got “spanked” at the Refuge OKC, then spanked at the City Rescue Mission, and that was just Saturday. Sunday was just loads of “interesting” too. (grin)

Oh yeah, I almost forgot to answer the subtitle question. What’s my motive for including all this in a series on Transparency? I dunno. I’m getting spooked after this weekend. Haven’t I proven by now that the internet is my turf? I play here with glee and abandon. I make arrogance look clever. I can spank all you aliens here as much as I want. I mean, it’s not like you don’t deserve it or something, right? Hello? Hello? Why is there suddenly a huge echo in here with nothing but the sound of a subtle chuckle in the back of my mind? I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that even now I’m engaged in a game of who can stop “last” with the snarkiest questions on another blog. Right? Hello?…sigh

—

Editorial update: Dang it! bert of Men On Purpose wins. He posted last with a question, AND he had the nerve to ask a nice question instead of being snarky! So he wins by losing. That’s just worthy AND annoying! I hate losing. Oh well. bert, unfortunately I have to decline on the go get some coffee offer for personal reasons. I’m not able to plan meetings in advance. My ability to go out and meet people has become severely limited due to personal responsibilities. We go to church Saturdays and Wednesdays and that’s probably the best place to catch me for a conversation. Maybe. As you’ll see in the next “part”, even “my church” is getting interesting for me. (grin)